


Vent Thy Folly Somewhere Else

by TARDIS_stowaway



Series: Illyria [3]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-28
Updated: 2010-07-28
Packaged: 2017-10-10 20:19:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/103866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TARDIS_stowaway/pseuds/TARDIS_stowaway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose takes the parallel Doctor home to meet the family. Mistaken identity complicates everything as Mickey gets angry, Pete gets something off his chest, and Jackie talks about tree-sitting. Third in the Illyria series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mistaken Identity

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a bit of a change of pace for the Illyria series. This was originally intended to be a one-chapter story on the edges of fluff, but it grew and darkened slightly in the telling.
> 
> Chapter 1: Mistaken Identity – In which the Doctor is undeservedly chastised.

  
One minute the small park contained trees, well-kept grass, benches, a statue of Lord Nelson, and pigeons. The next it also contained a ticket booth. By the time the doors of the ticket booth opened, its roof was just as crowded with pigeons as Nelson’s shoulders.

  
“Right, we find a newspaper _before_ going to see my mum, just to confirm that it really is the day after I left,” Rose declared, stepping out of the TARDIS.

  
“Would I set you down in the wrong time?” asked the Doctor indignantly. Rose’s raised eyebrows communicated as much as a strongly-worded essay in response. After a long moment the Doctor sighed. “Point taken.”

  
Rose immediately dropped the “how thick do you think I am” glare and smiled brightly at him. “Anything under a year from when we left and you beat your counterpart in the other universe the first time he took me home.” The Doctor peered into a rubbish bin and emerged with a sheet of newspaper.

  
“I’m guessing five years later would make me the loser,” he frowned, studying the paper.

  
“What?! _Five_ years? Bloody hell! What she must have gone through…oh God. The only question is whether she’ll be able to spare a few seconds from yelling at me to slap you. Or maybe a few seconds from slapping you to yell at me,” Rose moaned, dropping abruptly to a seat on the bench.

  
“Did I say it had been five years? I lied. This paper’s from the day you left, so it’s probably the next afternoon.” He grinned impishly. Rose jumped to her feet and smacked his arm.

  
“You think you’re so funny,” she growled.

  
“Mostly I think your expression just then was funny,” he smirked.

  
“Honestly. You’re impossible!” Rose shook her head in exasperation.

  
“Six times before breakfast!”

  
Rose tried hard to maintain her annoyed expression, but the corner of her mouth kept twitching upwards. She settled for punching him in the arm again.

  
“Ow! Can’t we leave the Time Lord abuse to your mother?” he complained.

  
“I think I can keep her from slapping you, assuming it really has only been a day. It’s not like you’ve done anything to deserve a slap.”

  
“Well, there’s the part where I nearly got you killed by setting off a booby trap.”

  
“We don’t have to tell her about that. Besides, if dangerous momentary rashness is all it takes to get a slap, lots of Torchwood people’s cheeks would be stinging, but I think she’s only slapped two of my partners, three if you count Ricky,” Rose said in a vain attempt at reassurance.

  
“I’ve just remembered the vortex tuner really needs to be recalibrated. You go tell your family where you’re off to while I stay in the TARDIS and take care of that. Go on,” he shooed her, edging back towards the ticket booth.

  
“Oh no you don’t. Stop running away from my mother when you haven’t even met her yet! You’re going to stay for tea. My parents knew the other Doctor, so they’ll want to meet you.” Seeing his continued reluctance, Rose grabbed his hand. “Look, how about this: I go in first and explain. You can wait out here while I make sure that no slapping will occur. In return, when you come up you’ve got to try not to insult anybody or stare at them like they’re bugs.”

  
“What if they really deserve it?”

  
Rose stuck her tongue out. “Just try, alright? It’s my mum and dad.”

  
He squeezed her hand. “Deal.”

  
Rose strode up to the garden gate of the largest of the old, handsome brick houses across the street from the park. Peter Tyler had sold the mansion he’d lived in with his first Jackie shortly after Rose and her mother came to this universe. Though just as expensive as the former one, the new house was less ostentatious, to Jackie’s disappointment. The shorter commute and lack of cyberman memories made it a worthwhile move. Rose pressed her thumb to the lock and paused in the open gate.

  
“Don’t vanish on me, okay?” She tried to keep her tone light, but an edge of nervousness came through.

  
“I wouldn’t have invited you if I intended to scarper the moment you were out of sight.”

  
“Just checking.” Rose flashed a toothy smile. Just before the gate shut she turned back again and waved. “Be back in a minute!” The Doctor waved back.

  
Left alone, the Doctor sat down on bench to read the scavenged newspaper. Then he read it again, this time with red pen in hand to mark all the grammar errors, punctuation problems, and primitive scientific misconceptions. That took up about three minutes. He shooed the pigeons off the TARDIS a few times before giving it up as a lost cause. The window of a car parked on the street provided a mirror for him to examine himself. The new claw scar across his scalp and forehead was visible but greatly faded thanks to the TARDIS medical equipment and two days spent resting in the vortex. He and Rose both felt that fresh injuries were not the ideal accessories to wear for an introduction to the family. A little bit of makeup had made Rose look completely well as long as she didn’t lift up her trouser leg to show off the bite marks.

  
He wandered up and down the street attempting to peer into the Tylers’ neighbors’ windows. Nothing interesting to be seen. Bored, he set to work picking up litter in the park. Soon every last crisp bag was in the bin. Still no sign from Rose. A misting rain began.

  
The Doctor stuffed his hands in his pockets and tried to remain convinced that this was a good idea. When Rose was out of sight and nobody’s life was in obvious danger it was easier to remember the multitude of reasons he really ought to push her away. Danger for her, inevitable future sorrow for him, possible pain for all the people who would grieve for Rose’s loss on Earth, not to mention the annoyance of having to do things like stand around in the rain before having tea with a woman who, if he read between the lines of Rose’s stories accurately, got on his parallel self’s nerves rather severely.

  
Somewhere out there, galaxies collided in fiery splendor. Somewhere out there, innocent people needed his help. And here he was, a Time Lord, waiting like a teenager picking up his date for the school dance.

  
He could tell her he’d changed his mind. He could back out now, sever this mistaken attachment before it tied them any closer together. No, he couldn’t. He’d committed already, and besides, there was the way she smiled. That smile hit his face like the first rays of sunrise after the winter solstice night. That smile ought to be a controlled substance, addictive as it was.

  
“You!” shouted a voice behind him. “What’re you doing here?” The Doctor turned to see a young man striding aggressively toward him. The man had coffee with cream-toned skin and wore an brown bomber jacket and combat boots. He looked shocked and furious.

  
“Well, I…” began the Doctor, gesturing vaguely towards the Tyler house. The man interrupted.

  
“Don’t answer that. Of course you’re here for her, but you’ve got some nerve showing up now. Three years thinking you were gone for good, and here you are now, standing on the street looking _bored_. Probably planning on picking up like nothing happened. Three _years_, Doctor! At least this time you didn’t make me look like a murderer.”

  
Understanding hit the Doctor. “You must be Mickey,” he ventured.

  
“Oh, so you finally remember my real name. Good for you, ‘cept I don’t use it any more. In this universe, I go by Ricky. Everyone calls me that, even Rose most of the time. I took over his life, name and everything. You should be happy, a whole universe willing to go along with your stupid joke, but I don’t use it for you. It’s in memory of him.” The man formerly known as Mickey stood noticeably closer to the Doctor than politeness allowed and jutted his chin out aggressively. As a habitual interloper, the Doctor was used to people chewing him out, and thanks to time travel he sometimes hadn’t met them yet when they accused him. However, listening to grievances about things he not only hadn’t done but was not going to do in this universe simply wouldn’t do.

  
“Fine. Ricky, then. Listen, I…” the Doctor began his attempt to explain, but he was interrupted again.

  
“No, _you_ listen for once in your life. I just had a _very_ rough time at work, and I’m not in the mood to take any shit from you. Some alien nutcase thought Starbucks was an interplanetary bank and was holding a branch hostage until they gave him a million Altarian dollars. I’ve been working eighteen hours straight trying to take him down. I’m on my way home to get some sleep, swung by here to drop off some stuff I borrowed and _bam! _ There you were. Knew what you must be here for, and I can’t let you take her away until I say some things.”

  
“Very clever of you, but…”

  
“Don’t you patronize me. Things are different here. I’m not the tin dog any more, so you’d best not treat me like one,” he snapped.

  
“Not a tin dog. Got it,” the Doctor agreed, not really sure why it needed to be established that Mickey, no, _Ricky_ was not a metallic canine. “You should know that…”

  
Ricky cut him off again. “Shut it, big ears. I’m still talking. And speaking of big ears, what’s with this face again? You said you couldn’t change back. Maybe switching bodies seems normal to you, but not for us. You looked different, you were in that coma when we needed you saving the world, and then you were talking all the time and jumping around like a kid who missed a few doses of Ritalin. It was _weird_. Eventually we got used to Ferret Face, kinda liked him even, but now here’s the old you again, jacket and ability to stand still and all.”

  
“Ferret Face?” The Doctor raised an eyebrow. If he interpreted that rambling correctly, his parallel self had regenerated during his acquaintance with Rose and Mickey. Rose hadn’t mentioned that. He wondered how accurate a nickname Ferret Face was. Regeneration could occasionally produce some strange results, and if his next incarnation looked like some Egyptian god of ferrets, well, he would have to start being more careful with this body.

  
“Yeah. I know you thought you were damn foxy like that. I won’t speak for Rose, but Madame Pompadour certainly agreed, and, well,” Ricky flicked his eyes back and forth, as if checking for eavesdroppers, “she wasn’t wrong, but you still looked kinda ferrety. Ferret with a hair gel addiction.”

  
“Hold on. Madame de Pompadour? Are you sure?” inserted the Doctor, his face wrinkling in confusion.

  
“Don’t play innocent. You can’t almost strand yourself in eighteenth century France and abandon Rose and me on a broken spaceship for her and then act like you don’t remember! Five and a half hours we waited because you had to be a big damn hero for some girl you’d just met, five and a half hours not knowing if you were ever coming back or what to do if you didn’t and you _never_ asked how it was for us. I’m telling you now: horrible. Rose cried, and you know what she kept saying? She said that the old you wouldn’t have left us like that, and I think she was right.

  
“Pretty boy might be more fun, a lot easier to get along with, but at least with this version a man knows where he stands. Now, though, I’m not so sure. You said the breach was closed between universes, but here you are. Are you ending the universe with this visit? You told Rose you couldn’t change back. Now you have. What else are you hiding, Doctor? Huh?”

  
“I thought I wasn’t supposed to talk,” responded the Doctor, deciding that going with the flow would be easier than trying to explain his identity just yet. He flashed a quick, condescending smile. Letting Ricky rant wasn’t just easier than correcting his assumptions, it was also informative and quite entertaining.

  
Ricky slumped just a tiny bit, his aggressive tone slightly thrown.

  
“Err, well, I mean, yeah. Quiet! I’ll have the answers out of you later.” Ricky took a deep breath, trying to build his momentum back. “Anyway, you’re here. Great, but why now? Why not right after the breach sealed? What’s a bloody time machine for if not getting where you’re going on time? Maybe you didn’t know how to get through right away. Fine. You didn’t need to make _us_ wait. You could have taken centuries to figure it out and still picked Rose up the day after you said goodbye. Maybe three years seems like nothing to someone pushing one thousand, but it’s a long time for us humans. A long time.” Ricky nodded to emphasize his point. The Doctor kept his face impassive.

  
“We both know Rose is special. She’s out there saving the world, doing a damn good job of it. She’s a bit moody, but almost everybody here assumes that’s just how she is. I knew her before. There’s no fireworks and wailing like when she and Jimmy Stone split, but I know what Rose looks like with a broken heart. I’m the one always picking up after the mess someone else makes of her. I hate seeing my best mate like that, and you, Doctor, could have prevented three years of it just by a little precision in your time travel. There was a time I’d have given anything to have you gone and Rose on Earth with me, but not like this.” Ricky turned his head away, watching the soggy pigeons pecking at the ground. When he next spoke, the fire had gone out of his voice.

  
“You should know Rose and I were back together for a while, after. We’re not now. She might not say anything, but I know it’s because she’s still not over you. Probably never will be. It’s bad enough to steal another bloke’s girl, but you stole her from the entire human race, maybe forever, ‘cause nobody can ever measure up.”

  
The Doctor shifted his weight uncomfortably. He’d seen the evidence that Rose had been close to his doppelganger, but the way Ricky talked made it sound like they’d either been lovers or Rose had an unhealthy obsession. This was exactly why he’d always kept his companions at a distance and then stopped accepting company altogether: too much potential for somebody to break a heart. Or two.

  
“I didn’t intend to,” he said, which wasn’t exactly a lie, even if it did deliberately promote Ricky’s false assumptions.

  
“That’s exactly it! You didn’t intend. You never _intend_, and you never do anything about it!” burst Ricky, his anger back in full force. “All that time you pranced around the universe acting like just mates. I don’t know if you were too thick to see what was right in front of you, or too stubborn to say anything, or too high and mighty to admit feelings for a human, or what, but it wasn’t right.

  
“Look, it’s mostly your fault that Rose and I can’t work, but I don’t mind that anymore. Old history. I’ve got other things going on in my life, unexpected good other things, but I still look out for Rose. She’s like my little sister, uh, except I don’t think real little sisters ever start talking about what you’re like in bed during drunken truth or dare games. Anyway. What I mean is that you can’t expect to just have her hop back in that TARDIS like nothing ever happened, even though she might let you get away with it. She told you she _loved_ you. Now that you’re back, you’d best be finishing that sentence that got cut off, and it had better not be some nonsense about fruit. If you break her heart again I will personally use your ears as Christmas tree ornaments.”

  
The Doctor felt a headache developing. He felt unusually close to Rose after just a few days, but did he really want to bring aboard somebody whose past could turn the meaning of TARDIS into Time lord Angst and Relationship Drama In Space? In a desperate attempt to avoid the tangle of emotions and choices raised by Ricky’s speech, the Doctor seized on the one aspect of it that he could think about safely, the only one that wouldn’t drag him deeper into the complicated soap opera that developed whenever humans were around.

  
“Fruit is very important, I’ll have you know!”

  
Ricky made an odd noise that sounded like the bastard offspring of a groan of frustration and a laugh. “I didn’t honestly expect you to apologize and make promises, but completely ignoring my point? You’re way more alien than half the green tentacled things I know. Still, I guess if the bloke who saved the Earth with a thrown Satsuma says fruit is important you’ve got to believe him.” Ricky sighed, exasperation warring with amusement, then suddenly grinned and surprised with Doctor by thumping him on the back.

  
“Hey, remember how you said to always bring a banana to a party? It works. There were these spiny guys, Bethippians I think they were called, who showed up and told Torchwood they wanted to do business with Earth. We had this reception for them, boring finger-sandwich sort of affair, and they tell us what they want to buy is Earth’s oceans. All of them. We’re trying to explain that the oceans aren’t for sale and find some alternate trade deal, they’re not having any of it and are threatening to take the entire planet by force, when all of a sudden I remember that I’ve got a banana in my bag. I convince the brass to offer that as a possible trade item and the spiny guys _love_ it. Now Torchwood sells produce to five star systems and I got a promotion, all because I had a banana.”

  
“Everyone loves bananas,” the Doctor commented, deeply relieved to be on safe topics of conversation like fruit and apocalypse rather than the dangerous ground of emotions.

  
“Lucky for Earth. You know, Doctor, this is in no way forgiving you for abandoning Rose and all the rest, but it’s sure good to see you again.” Ricky smiled warmly and thumped the bemused Time Lord’s back again. “Hey, I don’t think anyone ever tried offering a banana to the Cybermen. Maybe that’s all they wanted.” Ricky speculated jokingly.

  
“Why don’t you try that the next time you meet a Cyberman and tell me how it works out?”

  
“Real funny, Doctor.” Ricky made an annoyed face at the Doctor’s sarcasm. Suddenly, he did a double take, seeming to notice the ticket booth for the first time. “This wasn’t here before! What the hell? Wait, I get it! Is that the TARDIS in new camouflage? You know, this really isn’t any less conspicuous than the blue box. Maybe a little less retro, but it’s still kind of a crap disguise.”

  
“Oi, don’t insult the TARDIS!” said the Doctor sourly. “Apologize to the lady!”

  
Ricky, who had never quite accepted the TARDIS as a sentient being, rolled his eyes. The Doctor glared, tapping his foot, but Ricky pointedly ignored him and watched a stray dog sniffing lampposts across the park.

  
Suddenly, a bright voice disturbed their irritated silence.

  
“Mum’s not home right now, but I just explained everything over the phone. You’ll be glad to hear that I think you’re going to have a slap-free introduction. She _might_ even try to give you a kiss, so don’t panic, right? I told her that the first place you took me was a nice restaurant, which made her just giddy with happiness. Let’s not mention that we started a massive food fight and ran for our lives there. Oh, hi Ricky!” Rose smiled, suddenly catching sight of him standing on the far side for the Doctor. “I see you’ve met the Doctor from this universe. Found him in New Jersey and confused us both to no end until we realized what was going on.”

  
Ricky glanced back and forth between Rose and the Doctor, his jaw working silently as he tried to process. Rose took in Ricky’s apparent confusion and the way the Doctor’s obvious irritation. Her lips thinned.

  
“What happened here?” she demanded.

  
“He didn’t tell me he wasn’t our Doctor!” Ricky accused.

  
“Did you not notice me trying to get a word in?” said the Doctor, exasperated.

  
Ricky had the grace to look sheepish. “Sorry. Bit of an idiot, me.”

  
“Yup,” affirmed the Doctor. Rose gave Ricky a look that insisted on elaboration.

  
“Rose, you remember that party at Gemma’s last year where we got drunk and I told you about the speech I had worked out for the Doctor if he ever showed up? The one about how he had no right to make you wait for years?”

  
“You didn’t!” It was Rose’s turn to drop her jaw.

  
“He did,” the Doctor confirmed. “With bonus rant about my face.”

  
“Ah,” said Rose. In her years under the shadow of zeppelins, she had told Ricky about her feelings for the Doctor more directly than she’d ever told the Doctor himself. Talkative as the two time travelers were, so much had always lain unspoken between Rose and the Doctor. Ricky had never really grasped the necessity and delicacy of that silent understanding. She remembered Ricky’s plans all too well, had tried to dissuade him from giving that speech (or, frankly, any talk of personal matters) to her Doctor if he ever showed. To have this commitment-shy Doctor hear all of it…awkward didn’t begin to describe the situation. A drop of rain slid down the back of her neck under her coat. She could think of only one way to respond.

  
“Cup of tea?” she asked, voice squeaking slightly.

  
“That’d be great!” Ricky hurriedly replied.

  
“Yes, of course, brilliant idea,” the Doctor simultaneously agreed.

  
Before they could head inside, the trio noticed that the stray dog had wandered closer. Now that it was near, they saw that it was not a stray dog but a thylacine, the marsupial also called the Tasmanian wolf or tiger, extinct in Rose’s home universe but alive in Tasmania and feral in Britain in this one. Ignoring the people entirely, the thylacine strolled right up to the TARDIS and began sniffing. Suddenly it lifted its leg against the ticket booth.

  
“Oi! You! That’s my ship!” yelled the Doctor.

  
“No! Bad wolf!” Ricky said firmly, clapping his hands to startle the animal. It yawned lazily, its mouth gaping open far wider than any dog’s, then ambled off. “Mrs. Hastings down the street feeds them, and now they think they own the place,” he explained.

  
At that point, Ricky noticed that Rose and the Doctor were regarding him with wide gapes much like that of the thylacine. “What?” he asked.

  
The Doctor switched from dumbfoundment to glaring.

  
“What?” Ricky asked, still confused.

  
Rose raised her eyebrow. After a moment, Ricky realized what he’d said.

  
“Oh.”

  
* * * * *

  
“At that point, I’m dripping slime and Winslow’s eyebrows are totally scorched off. Everybody’s crawling out from under the tables and they start applauding us. Actual applause! Then this one nob notices that the girl behind the counter is finally conscious again, and he says, ‘Hey! I never got my grande soy latte!’ “ Ricky finished retelling his day, jabbing his finger in the air to imitate the obnoxious customer.

  
Rose laughed, wincing as a sip of tea tried to burst out of her nose. Ricky chortled at her expense. Even the Doctor, tilting his chair back at an alarming angle as if to distance himself from the Tyler family kitchen table, cracked a smile.

  
“Too funny! Wish I coulda been there!” Rose said, catching her breath.

  
“No you don’t,” Ricky said, suddenly serious, his eyes darting between her and the Doctor.

  
“He’s right. Fribint mucus is a nightmare to get out of long hair,” the Doctor jumped in to rescue them from the awkward pause that threatened.

  
“I’m not even sure it’s out of mine,” Ricky complained. “I feel like I could shower for about a week.”

  
“Worse than the time with the Oubourians in the sewers?” Rose asked. Her nose scrunched up in remembered disgust.

  
“Okay, maybe not that…” Ricky was interrupted by the ring of his mobile. When he saw the caller ID, his face brightened.

  
“Hey!...Yeah, I’m fine, I just got delayed at the Tylers’. You won’t believe who I ran into!...Don’t be ridiculous, of course it’s not the army of Michael Jackson clones again. That only happened once, and anyway, I still don’t think a dozen clones make an army…Not him either…It’s the Doctor!...No, the universe isn’t gonna explode, though I’d keep an eye on the department stores and government buildings. He’s actually from here, not there…What? ‘Course not. No competition…Go ahead, I’ll be home soon…Same to you. Bye, Jake.” Ricky hung up.

  
“You’re going?” Rose said plaintively.

  
“Yeah. I’m guessing you won’t be here when I wake up.”

  
“Hey, I could leave, watch a star be born, save half a dozen planets from destruction, and still make it back before you wake up. Time machines are handy like that.” Rose smiled up at him, but Ricky didn’t smile back,

  
“Not what I meant. You leave, you’ll never really be back. You might stop in to do your washing, but it’ll just be a quick pause on your way to somewhere else. That’s how it was before. Always going.”

  
“Ricky...” Rose began, reaching up to catch his hand.

  
“’s okay.” Ricky took a deep breath, steadying himself. “These past three years were just a really long laundry stop. I already knew that. You haven’t been meant to stay put since he blew up your job.”

  
Rose almost apologized, but she stopped herself. What was the use in apologizing for a part of her nature she wouldn’t change if she could? Anyway, Ricky, bless his soul, had forgiven her long ago. So she just stood up and drew him close, hugging him hard.

  
“Take care of yourself,” he ordered.

  
“I won’t pick a fight with anything I can’t outrun or outsmart,” Rose reassured him.

  
“More to it than that,” he said, staring over her head at the Doctor.

  
Rose gave him a final squeeze, then tilted her head back to kiss his cheek.

  
“Thank you,” she told him sincerely, pulling away. Ricky nodded and turned towards the Doctor, who had been watching the proceedings uncomfortably. He didn’t like the intimacy these two obviously had. He tried to convince himself that it was only because he was worried that Ricky would be grieved if anything happened to Rose. That _was_ true, but seeing Rose embracing the other man unaccountably filled him with irritation.

  
“Doctor,” said Ricky, extending a hand. The Doctor took it only to have his fingers crushed, so he returned the vise grip with vigor. Rose noticed the faintly pained expressions on both of their faces.

  
“Boys! Cut it out with the testosterone contest,” she instructed, trying to keep the laughter out of her voice. They let go, leaving Ricky to massage the feeling back into his hand as unobtrusively as possible.

  
“Good to meet you, Mickey Smith.”

  
“I told you, I go by Ricky,” he said with a long-suffering tone. “Sorry about the mistaken identity back there.” The Doctor shrugged.

  
The three of them walked to the door. On the steps, Ricky turned back with one last remark.

  
“Hey, I know you’ll probably stop in sooner, but in case I don’t see you, I want to invite you for Christmas. It’ll be nice, even if my tree is a bit bare of ornaments.” Ricky tugged pointedly at his ear. The Doctor, recognizing the warning reference, smiled with studied blitheness. Rose looked confused, wondering just how Ricky’s sleep debt was affecting him. Before she could ask him what he meant, Ricky walked away, collar turned up against the rain.


	2. Mistaken Actions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Pete Tyler makes a confession.

After Ricky left, Rose made more tea for herself and the Doctor. The Doctor looked restless, sitting with the exaggerated, tense sprawl of a caged panther. Was that just a case of normal domestic overload from being in an ordinary house with no explosions or monsters, or was it fallout from Ricky’s loose tongue? Neither of them spoke while she brewed the tea, and Rose found herself wondering if the silence was companionable or awkward.

  
“Did I tell you that back in the other universe, Americans don’t play cricket?” she blurted, quite without planning. Well, companionable or not, there went that silence.

  
“Really? Their national pastime?” the Doctor said, amused.

  
“I know! Cricket’s popular in the commonwealth there. In America they play batball. No, wait, that’s not it,” Rose wrinkled her nose in frustration. “Bocce ball? No, that’s different… I have it! Baseball! That’s so strange. I’ve only been here three years, but I’m forgetting things about home. Nothing that means anything to me, but I don’t like forgetting.”

  
“It hurts when you forget, because it’s like you’re destroying it just a bit more,” said the Doctor. Mercurial as always, he’d gotten that faraway look that suggested ballgames were the last thing on his mind. Rose laid a hand on top of his.

  
Just then, they heard a car pull into the courtyard. Peering out the foggy window, Rose’s face lit up like a Christmas tree.

  
“It’s my dad. C’mon and meet him!” She practically skipped towards the door, the Doctor following more sedately behind her.

  
Pete Tyler barely got inside before finding himself almost knocked over by an enthusiastic hug from Rose.

  
“You’re home early, love,” he said cheerfully.

  
“Caught a ride,” Rose said, releasing him.

  
When she moved aside, Pete noticed the Doctor. He also noticed the fondness of Rose’s expression as she beckoned the leather-jacketed man closer. Well, that was interesting. She didn’t often turn that expression on men and he was pleasantly surprised to see it now, though he would have been happier if this bloke was a bit younger.

  
“Someone you want to introduce?” he asked, nodding towards the Doctor.

  
“Dad, meet the Doctor. He’s…” Rose was interrupted by the loud sound of her mobile. The ringtone was REM’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine).”

  
“Oops, that ring’s Dr. Flint over at Torchwood. I should take this. Might be an apocalypse, and even if it’s not I need to tell her I’m leaving,” Rose said hurriedly, fumbling for her phone. “Hello?...No, I’m at my parents’ house…They WHAT?....Hold on, let me get on the computer so I can look at the case file…” she said into the phone.

Covering up the mouthpiece, Rose whispered, “Sorry, this should only take a second. You two introduce yourselves!” With that she strode out of the room.

  
The Doctor watched Rose leave somewhat anxiously, trying and failing to come up with a good excuse for following her. He turned back around to Pete Tyler’s intense examination.

  
“So you really can change your face. I always found that hard to believe, even with all the extraordinary things I’ve seen from you,” Pete ruminated.

  
“It’s true,” the Doctor shrugged. Rose’s father seemed to share Ricky’s assumption that he was the Doctor they’d previously met, though Pete didn’t appear to recognize this regeneration. The Doctor knew he really ought to correct that, but he found himself curious how long it would take Pete to recognize a fellow native of this universe.

  
“So I see. At least your shoes match your outfit now.”

  
_Oh, Rassilon, does that mean I have another style-challenged regeneration coming up?_ thought the Doctor, thinking ruefully of some of his past clothing choices. _I really do need to take care of this body._

  
“You’re taking Rose with you?” Pete asked, already knowing the answer.

  
The Doctor nodded warily. “That a problem?” Not that he would let a parent’s disapproval stop him taking who he chose as a companion, but it might stop Rose.

  
Pete shook his head slightly. He evaluated the Doctor for another minute longer, then squared his shoulders, seeming to resign himself to something. “Doctor, about what I did at Torchwood Tower just before the universes sealed…I’m sorry.”

  
The Doctor thought back to what Rose had told him about how she had become trapped in this universe.

  
“You rescued Rose from being sucked into the Void. Better in the wrong universe than there. It was the only way. Why apologize for saving her life?” His icy blue eyes bored into Pete. His stare was inquisitive, not at all hostile, but still it was almost uncomfortably strong.

  
Pete sighed. “You’re going to make me spell it out.”

  
The Doctor nodded and folded his arms, waiting.

  
“Yes, I saved her, and I’m not sorry for that. Prouder of it than just about anything else I’ve done, in fact, and I’ve achieved plenty to be proud of. Maybe it was destiny or providence that led me there and I have nothing to apologize for. Certainly it all turned out for the best, but I believe that intentions count. If you’re as smart as you like to make others believe, you realize that rescue wasn’t my intention.

  
“I had no way of knowing Rose was falling into the Void until I got there. Assumed she was in no danger clinging to those clamps. Problem was, Jackie didn’t want to stay without her daughter. I crossed over meaning to take Rose for her mother’s sake, willing or not.”

  
Pete remembered the moment the universes closed, leaving Rose sobbing against the wall. He’d looked sideways at Jackie, wondering what they had done. He couldn’t remember ever being the cause of such naked sorrow, but it was far too late for second thoughts. Months and years passed, and Rose brightened, laughing heartily and often. Still, he saw her every now and then staring at the sky like a homeless child at a toy store window, and knew it to be his doing.

  
“Does Rose know?” asked the Doctor. He spoke no comforting words claiming the choice had been right. Still, he looked at Pete with compassion. Rose’s father stood straight and spoke steadily, only the disquiet in his eyes bespeaking deep remorse. It was not this Doctor’s place to offer him absolution, but he could hear his confessions.

  
“No. Well, maybe. She must suspect, but she’s never asked about it. I think she doesn’t want to know.”

  
The Doctor nodded. “Understandable. Practical girl, Rose. The father she always wanted rescues her from doom, she’s not looking for reason to hate him. Then again, she might have figured it out and forgiven you long ago.”

  
“That sounds like my Rose. Heart at least two sizes too large, but she’s still tough as nails.” Pete’s guarded expression softened almost into a smile. “I never thought I’d get to have children, and here I am with the most incredible young woman calling me Dad, not that I did anything to earn that, and a beautiful son too. These last three years have been a true treasure, but I know they were stolen. Stolen from her, stolen from you. For Rose’s sake, I always hoped you’d find a way across. I am curious, though, how you did it. Are we going to be having universe-ripping problems on our hands?”

  
“No rippage here,” answered the Doctor, truthfully enough.

  
“Good,” said Pete with evident relief. He paused a moment, but the Doctor didn’t elaborate on how he crossed the divide. At last, hesitantly, Pete asked: “This safe way between universes you’ve found–is it a one-time thing? Will we ever see Rose again?”

  
“Actually, we won’t be crossing to _Rose’s_ universe at all,” said the Doctor. He let Pete puzzle through the words, watching his eyes widen in surprised understanding. Rose’s cleverness was obviously not a fluke mutation.

  
“You’re from here.” Pete said.

  
“This universe, born and bred. I met Rose in New Jersey.”

  
“And she’s going to travel with you? A stranger?” Pete’s voice bore a faint edge of hostility. Clearly three years was enough to develop paternal protective instincts.

  
“This is her choice. You were a stranger to her too, not so long ago.” Frankly, he agreed with Pete’s misgivings. If Pete knew what he’d done, how close he always walked to death…but he’d already been through that with Rose. If Pete wanted to argue against bringing along Rose, then the Doctor could stop arguing with himself and devote all his attention to the pro-Rose side.

  
Pete locked eyes with the Doctor. Somehow, though the color was blue instead of brown, they were the same eyes on the Doctor he’d known. Those ancient, intense eyes carried a hint of danger, but there was no threat or dishonesty. He held that gaze as long as he could bear. Finally Pete looked away with a sigh.

  
“You’re right. I dragged my original wife’s double across the void after knowing her less than an hour, so I can’t be throwing stones here. Actually, this is good news. Jackie and I realized that being separated from her Doctor was hurting Rose, and we were prepared to let her go forever if she got a one-way ticket home. This way, you’ll be able to bring her back for visits.”

  
The Doctor stuffed his hands in his pockets, uncomfortable. Visits? When he brought someone on the TARDIS, they were with him until they chose to leave or he booted them out, none of this back and forth stuff. He’d hoped this trip home was a one time thing. Rose, however, clearly had different expectations. He wondered if his double made a habit of taking companions for home visits or if it was just Rose’s influence. He suspected the latter.

  
It wasn’t just the uncomfortable domesticity of visiting a family that bothered him. Taking responsibility for humans, he thought, was like eating crisps…you couldn’t have just one. Rose might choose a dangerous path of her own free will, but it would be him who might someday have to deliver her body (if there was even that much left) to this man and the mother. He really ought to just take her one or two fairly safe places and then find some excuse to kick her out. Best for everyone, wasn’t it?

  
The Doctor bottled up his doubts. “We’ll be around. Hard to get good chips anywhere but Earth,” he said lightly. Pete chuckled.

  
“We’ll be glad to have you eat our food and use our laundry any time. You know, Doctor, since you’re here I’m wondering if I could interest you in a business proposition. I’d like take you on as a consultant at Torchwood. Humankind can defend itself perfectly well, but we could use someone with real experience we could call on in extreme situations. If our Earth ever got hit with those nasty things with the plungers–Daleks, that’s their name–I’d like someone who knows how to keep a planet safe from them.”

  
Pete had on his charming “trust me on this!” expression, which rapidly turned to confusion as the Doctor shoved past him and hustled out the door. There was a faint whirring from outside the door and Pete found himself unable to get the door open.

  
“Doctor, wait! You can say no!” he called vainly. Through the window, he could see the front courtyard gate swinging shut behind the Time Lord.

  
* * * * * * * * * *

  
The Doctor ran as far as the TARDIS and slid to the ground, back against the door. That had not exactly been his most suave moment, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Daleks? Alive? It was one thing to see evidence of the Ruacmord, one of the Time War’s secondary menaces, and to guess that Rose had met other things that shouldn’t have survived, It was another thing entirely to know for certain that the Daleks survived. It sounded like they had been in the other universe, but if the Time War failed there he had no reason to believe he had succeeded here.

  
So Gallifrey had burned for nothing. His people were sacrificed in vain. Perhaps they had bought the universe some time, but that wasn’t good enough. A single Dalek meant that he had failed. A single Dalek would eventually be many Daleks. The War would start again, except without the other Time Lords to fight back it wouldn’t be a war. It would be a massacre.

  
Pete Tyler thought he, the Doctor, could keep the Earth _safe_. Thought he could take care of Rose. _Rassilon, what fools these humans be._ He couldn’t be trusted with a pet rock.

  
Just the mention of Daleks and he was running away like Sir Robin. How was he supposed to protect Rose, let alone the planet, when he was diving behind the sofa like a broken human ‘Nam vet with flashbacks? He’d even sonicked the door locked to keep Pete from following. That sort of overreaction didn’t happen when he was alone. Well, at any rate nobody witnessed it when he was alone. Potential to damage dignity alone was a good argument against taking on a companion. (Maybe he did care about the lack of suaveness in his exit, just a bit.)

  
Rain dripped down the back of his neck and water from the pavement soaked into his jeans. This whole thing had been a mistake. His judgment had been clouded by too long in the basement with Rose. It would feel cruel to let her down now, but he could handle a touch of being cruel for the greater good. The only question was whether he should stop back in there to let Rose know his change of plans or whether he should simply leave.

  
“Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to stay out in weather like this? You’ll catch your death of cold!” scolded a woman’s voice. The Doctor looked up to see a middle-aged peroxide blonde whose Estuary accent was at odds with her expensively tailored clothes.


	3. Mistaken Assumptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jackie gives the Doctor a talking-to and the Doctor experiences mealtime at the Tyler house.

The blond woman glared at the Doctor as if he were a particularly stubborn child too dumb to come in out of the rain. One of her hands was wrapped around the hand of a toddler and the other was on her hip, adding force to her scolding.

  
“Look, ma’am, I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be fine. Very hardy constitution.” He flashed her a quick reassuring smile and looked away, doing his best to discourage further conversation. Well-intentioned passers-by were such a nuisance.

  
“That’s all well and good for you, but what about Rose? You get the alien sniffles, she could catch it and, oh, I don’t know, swell up and turn purple like a giant berry! And don’t you ma’am me. It’s Jackie to you. Rose says you’re like our Doctor, and that makes you family.”

  
Great. Just fantastic. He was trying to make his escape and along comes the infamous Jackie Tyler. At least Rose had made sure she wasn’t going to have any mistaken identity, so perhaps he could keep from receiving any slaps he hadn’t earned. He didn’t count on it, though.

  
“Rose won’t catch anything from me. Why don’t you take your son inside and I’ll be along soon?” he suggested, trying to buy himself a minute to decide whether or not to say goodbye.

  
The toddler, evidently Rose’s brother Daniel, pointed at the Doctor with a gleeful expression.

  
“Batman!” he exclaimed.

  
“No, sweetheart, this is the Doctor,” Jackie corrected, then looked up to address the Doctor. “Lately everything’s about superheroes for him. You’re in black, so you’re Batman, but with all that coming and going from that box of yours, you might get upgraded to Superman.” Jackie, of course, completely ignored the Doctor’s suggestion that she leave.

  
“Just so long as I don’t have to wear tights and a cape,” he responded, then pointedly turned away from her.

  
Jackie didn’t reply, but she didn’t go away either. She just stood there glaring at the Doctor. Obviously he was supposed to say something, but he didn’t know what and certainly didn’t care. Eventually Jackie got tired of waiting.

  
“Well? You goin’ to invite us in or not?”

  
“Invite you in? To the TARDIS?” said the Doctor, incredulous.

  
“No, to Buckingham Palace. ‘Course the TARDIS! It’s raining out here.” She tapped her foot impatiently.

  
The Doctor got to his feet so he could stare down his nose at Jackie. Was a sense of entitlement to his ship a genetic trait of Tyler women? Or was it genetic stubbornness combined with a learned TARDIS fixation?

  
“You’ve got a lovely house right over there with a functional rain-proof roof. Don’t let me keep you from it.”

  
“Don’t kid around with me, Doctor. I need to talk with you, and you’re obviously running away from something inside the house.” Jackie said, her tone implying that he must be exceptionally slow.

  
“I’m not…I can’t allow small children in the TARDIS! There’s irreplaceable machinery in there. _Dangerous_ irreplaceable machinery.” The Doctor stopped his automatic denial. Technically, he _was_ running away, although he considered himself in strategic retreat,.

  
“Oh, come on now! I’ll keep an eye on Daniel. I’m not asking you to take us anywhere. We just need to talk.”

  
The Doctor knew he could be thoroughly intimidating when he put his mind to it, and he did so now. It wasn’t quite his maximum intimidation look, because no lives were at stake and Jackie was just a human, but it was quite intense. He let the force of centuries shine from his eyes and the devastating power of a world-destroyer radiate from his posture.

  
He’d stopped armies with that stare. If Jackie was the slightest bit cowed, she didn’t show it.

  
Astonished, he finally gave up.

  
“Don’t touch _anything_,” he warned as he unlocked the TARDIS, though he couldn’t shake the feeling that Jackie was only looking for a more private location to slap him. Jackie smiled graciously. Inside, she pulled out paper and crayons from her cavernous handbag and passed them to Daniel, who sat on the jumpseat and began to draw, chattering happily to himself. The Doctor placed himself between the toddler and the console and folded his arms.

  
Jackie Tyler looked around the control room, making a face like she had a bad taste in her mouth. Her arms echoed his own aggressive body language. After a minute she spoke.

  
“You look about ready to run off alone. Never thought I’d be saying this, but Doctor, you should take Rose with you.”

  
“What?” the Doctor blurted, startled. Jackie rolled her eyes at him and explained.

  
“Before, I always wanted the other Doctor to send her home safe to me, but these past few years I’ve figured out that’s not something I can ever have from Rose, with or without you. Having her home just means knowing more about how often she risks her life to help people. My Daniel loves superheroes because they’re all around him…Rose, Pete, Ricky, most of their friends. Blimey, I’m the ordinary one and I once killed an ugly green monster in a kitchen with a pitcher of vinegar.

  
“No mother should have her child grow up to be a hero. Since she left with the other you, I’ve been nothing but nerves. Still, I could have forgiven her for running off to become a street musician or a topless dancer or a teen mother, so I can forgive her for hanging around with aliens and working for Torchwood.”

  
At this the Doctor could hold his tongue no longer. “I’m glad to see you have such a high opinion of Rose’s career path,” he said sarcastically. Jackie shot him a withering stare.

  
“Shut up, you git. I’m not done yet. Anyway, lately I’ve been thinking it’s like she’s one of those people you hear about who go and live in one a giant tree for months to keep it from being cut down. It’s not a very sane thing to do, living in a tree. Still, the people seem to enjoy it, and maybe the world is a little bit better because somebody had the craziness it took to save these trees. And if it’s your daughter up a tree, there’s not much to do except send her up some clean clothes and do your part to save the trees so maybe she can come down if she gets tired of it. Rose always did love climbing. She’s going to be up some tree or another no matter what I do. She might as well be up there with someone else so she’s not so lonely, and someone might as well be you.”

  
“Thanks for that ringing endorsement,” he shot, “but did you ever stop to think that I have other considerations than whether you approve or even whether she would enjoy it?”

  
“You just got handed a lot of baggage that belonged to the other Doctor, didn’t you?” Jackie asked with a sigh. Surprised, the Doctor nodded. That was not the whole of it, but Ricky and Pete’s revelations of how much the other Doctor meant to Rose were disconcerting.

  
“Thought so. Look, this family knows something about dealing with doubles. Rose’ll figure you out the same as me and Pete figured each other out, and the rest of us will manage to drop the baggage soon enough.”

  
“I work better alone,” the Doctor grumbled, desperately wishing Jackie would go away so he could brood in peace.

  
“I used to tell myself I could raise a child better alone than with any man. Alone was better than with most of the blokes I knew, but when I got my second Pete I found out what I’d been missing. Let’s just say if Daniel comes out well it won’t be a fluke like it was with Rose. Any kind of life’s much better with two. People _need_ company, even people who’re superheroes or aliens.”

  
Jackie’s normal strident tone was gone, replaced by a wide-eyed earnestness that made the Doctor’s mind flit back to Rose. Stubborn, compassionate, courageous Rose–her mother’s daughter. The young woman’s presence made him feel more alive than he had in decades, maybe centuries. Yes, of course people need company, but did he count as a person or just a second-rate legend who couldn’t even finish off his nemeses?

  
“You want to send away your own daughter?” he demanded.

  
“’Course I don’t want to!” snapped Jackie. “How thick are you? I want her to go on being my little girl until she marries some decent bloke and makes me lots of grandchildren. But Rose always goes her own way, never mind what I want or ask of her.”

  
The Doctor rolled his eyes. “Tell me about it.” He and Jackie shared a moment of silent bonding over Rose’s willfulness.

  
“Sending Rose with you is the right thing you and for her. ‘Sides, as far as this universe is concerned she’s not even my real daughter. When we got here, I could claim to be the other Jackie. Just told them I’d left the country when the Cybermen attacked, not died like everyone thought. Rose didn’t have an identity, and too many people knew the other Jackie had never been pregnant for anyone to believe she was mine. So she’s supposed to be Pete’s daughter with another woman, a coatroom attendant we pay to pretend to be Rose’s mum. I’ve adopted Rose, but it’s strange.” Jackie spoke with a heavy dose of wistfulness.

  
“I’m sorry,” offered the Doctor solemnly. Jackie just shrugged: it was an old wound, long scarred over. So much stronger than they looked, these peculiar apes.

  
“Enough of that,” said Jackie, collecting herself. “So, are you gonna come in and have some shepherd’s pie, or are you gonna go back to sitting in the rain looking like your cat just died?”

  
“I don’t have a cat, alive, dead, or Schrödinger’s,” the Doctor responded, earning a Jackie glare. “Are those my only choices?”

  
Jackie frowned. “Well, if you don’t like shepherd’s pie I could throw together a curry, but yeah. What’ll it be, Doctor? Warm food and a bit of companionship, or moping like some sorry teenager, probably about something you can’t even control?”

  
Jackie had a remarkable talent for distilling complex issues down to a bare-bones explanation that made him look ridiculous. Time Lords didn’t _mope_. Then again, he had never been a conventional Time Lord. Maybe he had been moping. Maybe he should stop.

  
Despair was a weapon. The Daleks and the Ruacmord were still wielding it, even unseen, crippled if not destroyed by the Time War. If he let fear control him, even fear for others and not himself, they won. Maybe what he needed to fight back was someone who believed in him but could still check him when he needed it. Someone to inspire him to do more than just keep on keeping on. Someone like Rose.

  
Young Daniel had stopped drawing and was now staring in rapt fascination at the swirls of Gallifreyan writing on the console display. _Too curious by far_, thought the Doctor, _just like his sister_. Daniel abruptly hopped to his feet and sped towards the many exciting yankable levers, forcing the Doctor to lunge out and grab him before the TARDIS was sent hurtling willy-nilly into the vortex. He lifted the giggling toddler onto his shoulders.

  
“Shepherd’s pie it is, then,” he surrendered.

  
“Great! It’ll be just the thing for a rainy day. Oh, and Doctor,” she paused, leaning in close to whisper, “On the phone, Rose had me swear not to make you promise anything about her safety. I know she’s an adult now and it’s a dangerous world out there. Still, if a single hair on her head comes to harm and I have the _slightest_ hint that you could have prevented it, I will kick you where it counts so hard your next body will sing soprano. Got it?”

  
The Doctor nodded, looking somewhat pale. Jackie smiled back at him sweetly.

  
“Good. We understand each other. Now, what can I get you to drink?” she said cheerily as she exited the TARDIS.

  
* * * * * * *

  
Back in the house, Rose Tyler hammered away at her keyboard. The Doctor and her dad hadn’t come to look for her, so she figured they must be getting along fine. Probably her dad was showing the Doctor his latest suitcase full of mysterious alien tech and the Doctor was declaring it all to be kettles and elaborate hats. She might as well do some damage control on the mess Dr. Flint had told her about and then deal with the bureaucratic wrap-up for her last mission at Torchwood. Make that her last mission as a full-time Torchwood agent–she fully intended to consult whenever she came back to this bit of space-time. She smiled as she worked, feeling so happy she wouldn’t have been surprised if little singing birds started following her around while flowers burst into bloom at her every step.

  
Rose had her own flat, but once again she was glad to have kept a room in her parents’ house. She had enough clothes and necessities here to avoid a trip to back to her flat to pack, but maybe she should go anyway, pick up her favorite winter coat and a bigger supply of knickers. She’d waited three years, so another few hours or even a day shouldn’t hurt.

  
They shouldn’t, but she could hear the TARDIS singing at the edge of her mind, calling her out to the black. She wondered if she could type faster. Instead, her eyes kept darting to the window like a child eager for the end of school while her mind wandered.

  
This was it, then. The moment she had almost given up hoping for had arrived. Tomorrow she would be gone from Earth for who knows how long. Strange how her body could simultaneously contain the giddy butterfly-wings fluttering of excitement that always came before she set out on a journey and the warm, anchored sensation that meant coming home, and both were for the Doctor.

  
Her reverie was interrupted by the sound of footsteps on the stairs. One person, moving slowly, as if tired or reluctant. That was odd. The footsteps paused right outside her door.

  
“What is it, Dad? Doctor?” she called out uncertainly. Pete Tyler opened the door. His stricken expression turned the butterflies of excitement in Rose’s stomach into large flopping fish of dread.

  
“Dad? What’s going on?” she asked, voice higher than usual. “Where’s the Doctor?”

  
“Oh, Rose,” said her father, coming into the room to wrap her in an embrace. Rose returned the hug, confused and frightened. After a moment Pete drew back and opened his mouth to speak.

  
At that precise moment the front door slammed.

  
“Rose, I don’t know why you always complained about Ricky paying more attention to his computer than you. Guess who I found trying to skip out of a family supper to do a little tinkering on the TARDIS,” Jackie hollered.

  
Rose dashed out of her room and looked down the stairs. Her mother had just come in the door with the Doctor, who was carrying Daniel on his shoulders.

  
“I’ll thank you not to compare me to that idiot. My so-called tinkering keeps my amazing timeship from accidentally ending up on years and light-years off course,” the Doctor protested, all light-hearted mock offense. Too light-hearted…he rarely used that tone of voice when he was being completely honest.

  
“If you can do that then I’ll be sure you’re not Rose’s Doctor.” Jackie quipped. “Besides, it’s not like it’ll get any more broken during one meal.”

  
“That’s true,” said Pete, coming up behind Rose. “You certainly left in a hurry for someone wanting to tinker around.” He leveled an inscrutable gaze at the Doctor. Rose noticed that the Doctor was soaking wet as if he’d been outside for a long while, far wetter than he should be from walking between the house and the TARDIS.

  
“Realized I’d left the coolant system on a self-repair cycle without opening the runoff vents, a mistake that can make the pipes burst. As you can see.” The Doctor gestured at his dripping clothing.

  
Rose bit her lip. Something was strange here. The Doctor was concealing something, and oddly enough Jackie seemed to be covering for him. She had half a mind to call them on it right away, but just then she met the Doctor’s gaze. _Let it go_, his eyes seemed to plead.

  
She could challenge him. Trying to prove that her job at Torchwood wasn’t just nepotism, she’d constantly been forced to assert that she wasn’t a mere sidekick to be kept out of the loop. Then again, relationships as important as family ties or the budding bond she shared with this Doctor required a completely different attitude than office politics. If the Doctor had a reason for running off on her father and being outside in the rain for a while, he’d explain eventually if it were important. Hopefully.

  
They weren’t on a two-minute time limit. They had all the time in the universe to say what needed to be said–except she knew that wasn’t so. No such thing as ever after, but that was all the more reason to let it go. Like the saying went, eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow…

  
“Lord of Time but not of plumbing, I see,” Rose said with a cheeky wink. “By the way, Mr. Doesn’t Do Domestic, are you aware that you’ve got a toddler on your shoulders?”

  
“My goodness, how did that get there?” said the Doctor, swinging a giggling Daniel down to the ground. The tension that been underneath the conversation dispersed. Pete took Daniel off for a change of clothes. Jackie hustled off towards the kitchen, and Rose grabbed the Doctor’s hand to drag him along to help with chopping vegetables.

  
* * * * * * *

  
The dish of shepherd’s pie was nearly empty, as was the bottle of wine. Jackie was relating some story about her friend Beth’s daughter’s wedding, a tale that rivaled a Wagnerian opera in complexity. The Doctor had his arms folded and a slightly glazed look in his eyes, but he was making a valiant effort to keep up a steady stream of “mmm-hmm,” “is that so?” and other appropriate remarks. Rose kept glancing back and forth between the Doctor, her family, and the window, where a rainbow spanned a clearing sky that now beckoned her instead of mocking. Her heart felt so swollen with joy she was amazed it didn’t split like a dividing cell and give her a Time Lord’s circulation.

  
It was at that point that a monster crashed through the front door in shower of splinters and spittle.

  
The creature was built like a very large gorilla, but with a hyena-like head and pebbly bruise-colored skin. It roared and smashed a lamp to pieces with one massive arm.

  
“Get bleach. Now!” shouted the Doctor and Pete in unison, but Rose was already sprinting towards the cleaning supplies closet. The Doctor picked up a chair and held it like a lion tamer. The beast lunged and snapped, trying to get around the chair to the family.

  
“Oh, come on! I just redecorated the front room last month. Why don’t they ever come in through the sitting room so I can replace that awful green sofa?” Jackie complained.

  
“I like that sofa!” Rose protested from the next room. “Get Daniel out of here, why don’t you?”

  
“Who’s his mother, you or me? I’m on that already. Doctor, pass me that phone. I’ll call Torchwood,” Jackie said, gathering up her son and heading for the basement with the mobile.

  
In moments Rose was back with two bottles of bleach, tossing one to her father. The two Tylers poured the contents of the bottles onto the floor right in front of the beast. It immediately stopped its roaring and began sniffing intently at the bleach. It began to roll around in the puddle of bleach, making little grunting sounds. Soon the rolling around slowed and it lay still except for the steady rise and fall of breathing.

  
Pete immediately began binding the sleeping beast’s arms together with duct tape while Rose used rags to tie the jaws shut.

  
The Doctor put his chair down and leaned against the wall, watching them work appreciatively. Just minutes ago the family had been a picture of blissful, stifling domesticity, but they were handling the intrusion as smoothly as if it were no more than a burning pie in the oven. Was this a typical family meal in the Tyler house? If Rose absolutely insisted on visiting often, well, maybe he could stand it after all. Really, it was the most reassuring alien home invasion he’d seen in a long while.

  
“We should have a team here within ten minutes. That’s the third one of these attacking our agents in London this week and only dumb luck we figured out that bleach is extra-strength catnip to them. Do you know what that is, Doctor?” said Pete.

  
“Vomom. They’re a hive species–this is a subsentient soldier caste sent as an advance guard, probably targeted on anyone with alien experience. The rest of the soldiers, the workers and the queen can’t be far behind. Your whole planet will be under attack any day now, Mr. Tyler,” the Doctor warned.

  
“Will you help us, Doctor?” Pete asked.

  
“What would you do if I said no?” the Doctor said, his smile letting them know that he joked.

  
“Torchwood could defeat it on our own,” Rose replied proudly, “but probably more messily.”

  
“I’d ground my daughter,” Pete deadpanned.

  
“Hey!” protested Rose with a swat at her father. “You can’t do that. I’m 24 and I’ve got my own flat!” The men ignored her.

  
“Can’t have that, so I guess I’ll just have to save the Earth. Does she have a curfew?” the Doctor told Pete. Rose stuck her tongue out at him.

  
“You’ve got a time machine. A curfew is kind of meaningless.” Pete shrugged. Then he turned to Rose, adding, “Besides, Rose is an adult who is fully capable of taking responsibility for herself and when necessary the entire human race.”

  
Rose beamed and wrapped her father in a quick hug.

  
“Right, then. We’ve got a planet to defend!” she proclaimed.

  
“Hold on a minute and I’ll make you sandwiches!” Jackie called, emerging from the cellar. Knowing that “sandwiches” could turn into huge, heavy picnic spread that would take ages to pack, Rose, the Doctor, and Pete all shouted excuses and sprinted for the door.

  
As they slipped out into the twilight, Rose leaned in close to the Doctor. “After we clear up this mess, let’s blow this popsicle stand!” she whispered. She couldn’t exactly swan off while her planet was in immediate peril, but the Doctor’s presence awoke in her a wanderlust so strong her feet itched.

  
“What’ll it be, then?” the Doctor asked, surprising himself with the thrill of excitement that Rose’s eagerness provoked. “Riding the waves of a plasma storm? Debating philosophers in ancient Greece? Zero-gravity gala in the thirty-fourth century?”

  
“Zero-gravity gala sounds wonderful! But what do I wear? A ball gown would be a bit revealing in freefall.” Rose frowned.

  
“How should I know? I wear what I always wear and that seems to work out.”

  
“Well, lend me your jacket and I’ll be appropriately dressed,” she suggested, offering her arm to him. He took it with a smile.

  
“If you’re trying to make me take you shopping, it won’t work,” he said firmly. With Rose fitting so neatly at his side, the Doctor found it hard to remember just why he had been so intent on leaving a few hours ago. She grinned at him, that fantastic smile with sparkling eyes and peeking tongue. He found himself beaming unrestrainedly back.

  
Over Rose’s shoulder, the Doctor saw Pete, and the sight brought a sobering reminder of the day’s worst revelation. Rose’s smile faded as she watched his own happiness flee his face. He looked into those long-lashed eyes, full of concern and questions. Inhaling deeply, he let one more layer of his armor drop away.

  
“Sometime you’ll have to tell me about how you met Daleks,” he said.

  
Rose’s eyes widened. How had he found out? Her dad. That must be why the Doctor had left in such a hurry. She remembered all too well how desperate and tormented the Doctor had been upon first meeting that Dalek in Van Statten’s bunker. He’d pointed a gun at her, for crying out loud.

  
“I’m sorry,” she said gently. “I didn’t mention them because I wasn’t sure how you’d take it.”

  
“You know me too well already,” he said darkly.

  
“Don’t be like that!” Rose scolded before softening her voice again. “Anyway, since the cat’s out of the bag, I met Daleks three times. Shall I tell you about the time you–the other you, I mean–sent millions of Cybermen and Daleks literally to hell, the time we convinced an emo Dalek to kill itself, or the time I looked into the heart of the TARDIS and used the power of the Time Vortex to wipe an invasion fleet out of the sky?”

  
Rose arched her eyebrows at him, daring him to challenge her triumphant narrative. If this Doctor was going to have a crisis of insecurity about the existence of Daleks, then she needed to remind him that they were not invincible.

  
“You looked into the heart of the TARDIS?” the Doctor asked, looking her up and down wonderingly as if he could spot bits of Time Vortex clinging to her.

  
“That’s what Bad Wolf was: me with the Time Vortex inside, scattering messages to myself across time so I’d figure out what to do. It’s all a bit fuzzy, but I know I saved the other Doctor’s life, and then he saved mine. Over there, we practically ate Daleks for breakfast.”

  
The Doctor could tell Rose was hiding memories of fear and pain under that bravado, but she seemed to be speaking the truth. She held the Time Vortex? And survived? No wonder the TARDIS was so taken with her.

  
“You certainly are something, Rose Tyler. Possibly insane, that’s definitely something,” he said, brushing a stray strand of hair out of her face.

  
“Insane in a good way?” she asked hopefully.

  
The Doctor chuckled. “Yeah, of course. Insane in a fantastic way.”

  
Peter Tyler, who had been standing impatiently with the car door open just out of hearing range of the conversation, cleared his throat loudly. “Alien invasion, anyone?”

 


End file.
